Relationships beyond security
BK Sister Denise
25th January 2022
Notes from the talk
In a relationship with anyone, you take a part of yourself and adjust it to the other person, place, culture. Adjust and adapt, but we have to put limits. Or, you lose yourself, that is, you lose your power.
Most people operate from the outside. When you operate from the outside, your mind is filled with what people do, say, you are full with sense perceptions. People can put you up and put you down.
You become a puppet in other people's hands. You are concerned with how they perceive you. You feel your sense of identity is derived from this.
You are in a relationship with everything that is outside, but your inner positioning has given power to the outside.
Most people are influenced by the public opinion - flickering. People are influenced by close relationships. Most powerful are parents, educators, religious leaders. There is no barrier between you and these powerful influences; they do this so to be completely absorbed in the culture where you are born in. They are very strong, they are not reliable. Security means reliability.
External social environment turns against you; they betray you, give you difficulty; you compromised your integrity by not realising how powerful these influences are, which started from childhood. They may not correspond with your conscience.
Clear conscience means a set of values, what is right and what is wrong.
Relationship with these powerful influences is not comfortable.
For instance, a toxic work environment.
All these connected with security, are also connected with power.
Someone who is in a position of power, can influence them - if they do not go along with them , they can put pressure on them. Others feel obligated and insecure.
Insecure -> afraid -> stress -> and weak -> health effect. Affects home life.
Most important thing on security, to experience 100% security, you want to have a very good and strong relationship with your self.
Be very conscience of your values and your honour, which has nothing to do with people, circumstances, but has to do with who you are.
In spiritual practice, the individual is the spiritual being and on the outside, there is a big movie, 3d movie. The law of spirituality is that all people and situations, arise, persist for a while, and fade away.
If you want to have 100% security it cannot be derived from anything temporary.
Your relationship with yourself, a deep, profound sense of who i really am. Powerful sense of relationship with yourself, supplemented by, supported by your spirituality, your relationship with the Divine. This is a permanent relationship.
You are operating from a different platform from anyone else, a powerful place to be. You cannot be taken away from yourself by circumstances. You cannot be corrupted. Corrupted by four things MICE
- Money
- Ideology - fanatical
- Compromise - go against your conscience, you compromise yourself
- Ego
MICE means that you can be taken down, bought, pressurred, corrupted, do against your conscience.
Mice free means you are independent.
Free and independent have a connection with being secure. Those people do not have a detectable secret, that they do not want anyone to know.
Spiritual practice, focusing on the self, cultivating the relationship with the Divine, and operating in a way that keeps you independent from the materially perceived reality.
Detached, independent, free, actor, this perspective allows you play suitably, you do not try to lean on something that will die, or break apart. You are not dependent on the body, on the culture. You can manage if those things are not there. Relationships break up, lose your job, people die.
Something happens, there are false accusations, you do not look good.
If you are not strong in yourself, and in your clean, clear conscience, you will be very much affected by these things and you feel very insecure. Weak. When you are secure, you are strong. When you are clean, you can stand up to it. When you are not clean, you cannot stand up.
Purity is critical.
Purity, clarity, independence help you to be yourself.
In good situations, bad situations, they love you, they hate you, you have enough inner clarity and strength to be really independent of it. Keep a smile.
The conscience is the intellect. The mind does not differentiate between what is right and wrong.
The intellect does a triage: what is relevant, what is good, what is wrong.
Conscience is an extraordinary element. When you go against it, it loses functionality. You start to betray yourself.
Having a clean, clear conscience is the greatest weapon.
Non-violent weapon, it keeps you protected to be corrupted by others. You cannot do anything that is against your principles, they are clear: what is wrong, right, real, you have a natural capacity to detect it.
Almost everyone operates partially based on the conscience, but it is mixed with many things that are mixed. If you do the right thing you lose your relationship, job. They keep you at a distance, because they do not follow their conscience.
Clean conscience means you are independent. Be capable to be alone and not a lot of people can be alone.
Clean and clear is the ability to be alone. There are times when you are all by yourself and everyone is against you, manage to be on your own with opposition. There will always be moments of opposition.
If you are perturbed by strong opposition, you are weak. If not, if you can handle being alone, and you are true to yourself, true to you conscience, you are very strong.
True to yourself is your highest value and you will not betray yourself, your key principle, not going against it. People will try to break it, do not break it.
People are looking for assurance. What are you afraid of - attacked, killed, pain, abandoned, insulted, losing faith - somebody has power over you. Your security is determined by you, trying to find a way - none of those things can happen.
People who are insecure, wear ego masks to protect themselves, use money, because they do not feel secure. They can be taken away anytime.
You are clean, even if you are not appreciated, you are not here for that.
What is my purpose, you go for it - what people think about it is secondary. If you do not have a purpose, people will use you for their purpose - you betray yourself.
People's insecurities - more objects, more possessions - you use what you do not need.
If you have gone against your conscience, it will stop talking to you, you will lose a really reliable and good friend and then you have to dependent on people.
Everyone has a conscience, but mostly is not reliable, they betrayed it. The purpose can be understanding yourself, if you analyse yourself - have you changed your purpose? Have you been true to yourself? You are very clear with yourself; not all are.
A lot of people will go on a track lied down by their parents, leaders. A purpose proposed by external people. Being with yourself, being on your own dealing with life, not with support systems. If they are not there, you know how to take care of yourself.
Karma that is clean and accurate is a huge force that goes with you. Pure action, pure thoughts, everything is right. As a consequence, life will be good to you, you understand what it means to be a human being, you understand life, it may not be simple, but you understand it.
Everyone of us started young, if you do not go through your explorations, experiments, you do not know anything. People get influenced, but the main problem is that young people need love and structure. If you have that, it is fine.
Most people arrive in dysfunctional families. They are not loved, they search for love outside. They go into trouble.
The world's karmic condition is catastrophic. A very good relationship to cultivate is with God, he is the only one who is not dysfunctional. This gives you a great deal to work with, when you are with difficult people and situations.
People do not know about God, but your conscience can recognise Him. Your relationship, being true to yourself is your high priority, it will get you close to God. A very good recipe for thriving.
Meditation
Think about two things: who am I, what am I - a spiritual being...
Try and connect with your individual self, this being, full of qualities and capabilities.
It is spiritually depleted. What you need is spiritual power, spiritual light. You can only get it from God, from that source.
What is in your way to get to God, is your conscience as matter - your gender, your age, your nationality.
Go deep, beyond all of that, to arrive at your destination, your soul, just be that.
This essence is eternal and immortal. All the things in material are temporary.
Takes you at another level... beyond the appearance and disappearance of everything.
To a higher power that is beyond all of that... this is your connection, your support.
This is where you are getting your power from... this is security.
Take a refuge with me alone.
This connection is outside of life and death, outside of good times and bad times, your anchor, the light.
Mentally you are connected... you understood what this is... connected through the energy.
Take as much as you can. The only thing missing in your experience is this power and light ... energy mixed of love, purity, wisdom, clarity, peace.
You find yourself in stillness and silence, and you understand that everything is at it is, let it be.
You are comfortable with yourself and with the Divine, you are ok with what is going on, without compromising yourself.